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“Fourteen Experiments in Postal Delivery”

NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN. Includes sexual references.

“Fourteen Experiments in Postal Delivery”, by John Schoffstall, is a surreal fantasy romance, of a type. In this case, Christopher, a man who has wronged his ladyfriend Jessica on a drunken bender, mails her a series of increasingly unlikely and impossible items–guess how many?–to try to soften her anger and hatred. The trick is that he only wraps the last one, and she is left with the upset comments of over a dozen postal employees about how these packages are outside postal regulations.  Also, with some very hard to store items. 

Part of the fantasy is the reaction of the viewpoint character.  I don’t expect that someone who committed a relationship error like Christopher did would ever be forgiven, but then again, I expect that the items that he might send to make up to her would be. . . substantially more mailable.

Near as I can tell, she never does get her second ski back, either.

[story does not appear to be available in print]
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